Curling — en reflektion

Vantolkningen av curling ifråga om föräldraskap, uppfostran och pedagogik liksom angränsande områden stör mig. Metaforer, metonymier och synekdoker i all ära, men även om de i grunden har sin förtjänster och brister, så skär det i mig när intellektuell ohederlighet, ignorans eller dumhet tar över.

Curlingförälder och några angränsade poppsykologiska begrepp kan bakspåras till psykologen Bent Hougaard, om jag minns rätt. Tesen är att föräldrar som i allt för hög grad sopar, fixar, donar och tillrättalägger sina barns liv och vardag, gör dem en otjänst som resulterar i bl.a. bortskämdhet, otacksamhet, orimliga krav etc.

Jag uppfattar bildspråket som direkt falskt. Ungefär som i de vulgära tolkningarna eller illustrationerna av Nonviolent communication, eller empatisk kommunikation eller giraffspråk, där hyneor och vargar förminskas och giraffer förstoras, på ett sätt som inte ens Disneys mest pseudobiologiskt antropomorpha extremister når i närheten av. Att hyenor och vargar skulle vara genuint elaka och ondskefulla utan förmåga att kommunicera, och att giraffen skulle vara av naturen snäll och god, bl.a. pga av avståndet mellan hjärta och hjärna, är så klart inte bara nonsens utan ett nonsens som antar absurda och vulgära former. Detsamma gäller den extrapolerade idén om curlingföräldrar.

Curling är en sport med krav på precision. Curlingstenen ska nå boet eller med andra ordet målet. Genom att sopa banan kan spelarna påverka stenens väg eftersom friktionen påverkas. Rätt riktning och hastighet, liksom att inte sopa för lite eller för mycket, utan rätt, är avgörande.

En förälder som skickligt curlar sitt barn, hjälper barnet med precision att nå målet. I allmänt hållna ordalag torde de flesta föräldrar se målet som att få till ett barn som framgent klarar av att leva sitt liv, eller med andra ord ett barn som vare sig underdånigt lyder andra blint eller som med svinaktigt oreflekterad självhävdelse går över lik, utan en person som tar eget ansvar, fattar egna välgrundade beslut och kan både arbeta självständigt och samarbeta med andra. Den som curlar sitt barn i mål gör det med precision och den äran.

Tesen som det extrapolerade ytliga poppsykologiska begreppet driver är missvisande. Den som curlar för mycket eller för lite kommer inte att nå målet. Den som i begreppets anda borstar galet mycket kommer att driva sina barn att missa målet och ut i intet eller in i sargen. En curlingförälder är den som med precision hjälper sitt barn lagom mycket, hårfint balanserande mellan att vara den säkra hamnen vid stress och den trygga basen för utforskande. En förälder som curlar är den slags förälder som är good enough.

Jag kan ha fel.

Claes

0 svar på ”Curling — en reflektion”

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